i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
