Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
kristin has been a bad kristin
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
