I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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