He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
