this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
