first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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