he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It's official drugs can't kill me
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
