New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
