dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
She said her name was "party"
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
