Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
