dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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