the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
