If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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