The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
