Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
This toilet bowl is my home.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
