I must be too annoying 4 u.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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