Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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