So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
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