your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
