A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
