hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
