Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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