i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I did not marry a roomba.
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