Don't make out with my wife yet
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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