remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
