some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
