So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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