so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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