seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
