i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
