Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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