Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
