I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
