I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
