her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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