it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
