Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
jump out the window naked night went bad
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
