i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
