i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
