I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
