I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
