Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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