dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Why is there bacon in the couch?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
