Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
