Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
