Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
