He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
