White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
