will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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