woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
