can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
