you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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